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Joke of the Day

"Me: *breathes"" My parents: you need to watch that attitude young man."

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"i've dated so many tools i could open a home depot"
"How did the redneck find his sister in the woods? Not bad!"
"What do they call pita bread in Mexico? Pita pan"
"My favorite thing about hot weather is the way it makes the fat people disappear."
"Today my dad told me that he quit his car vacuuming job after the first day. He said it was a sucky job"
"Saw a guy walking down the street talking to himself, hand gestures and all...So I did the right thing, stopped and told him about Twitter."
"How do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it........"
"Gabe Newell should be the World President He will prevent World War 3."
"What is Link's favorite hotel? Hyaaaaatt!"