197439

Joke of the Day

"Barber pointed out my new gray hairs and said I looked refined. I hope someone tells him the key marks on his car looks like racing stripes."

"Did you hear that Henry Ford wrote a book? The driving point is that it's auto-biographical."

"I hate when people think my real name is Jennifer, because it's not, it's Jennitalia."

"It's find it a tough decision to buy the right mattress... I guess I'll have to sleep on it."

"I'll take Manly Men for $500, Alex. ""Answer. These booklets of pages are a pointless waste of time."" What are instructions? ""Correct."""

"There are 30 cows and twenty eight chickens... How many didn't? Better told in person."

"Did ya hear about the magic tractor? It turned into a field"

"I love how we vote for sheriff. How the hell should I know? ""Let me talk to a few criminals and see who they think is scariest."""

"Why does the French flag have Velcro? So the blue and red sections are easily removed during a time of war."

"TIFU Your girl was on my lap"