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Joke of the Day

"Two termites go on a date.. Waiter: what would you like to order sir? Termite: Table for two."

"I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with my back. I'm not sure yet, but I have a hunch."

"Why did the gynecologist take a vacation out of the country? To study abroad."

"It's 2011 and we're not driving dragons? The future sickens me."

"Why did the melon get married in a church? Because he was in love with a cantaloupe."

"There's a name for people without beards Women"

"When I'm looking for a parking spot I turn the radio down because clearly I can see better when it's quieter..."

"Ninja level hiding skills! Why do you never see Hippos hiding up in trees?? Because they are so darn good at it."

"[wife talking to me on phone 45 mins after I go to play poker at friends house] ""stop crying for a second...what do you mean you lost me?"""

"What does Spider-man wear when it gets cold out? A Peter Parka"