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Joke of the Day
"How can I go to sleep when this movie I've seen 70 times just started?"
Next Joke
"Be more like Christ they said... Be more like Christ they said, so I became Jewish."
"My girlfriend asked me why I was blow-drying my crotch... Apparently ""heating your dinner"" was not the response she was looking for."
"ONLY text me in an emergency. Like my car's shooting flames from the trunk, one of my exes dies eventfully, or if someone thinks I'm sexy."
"What's the difference between young girls and photographs? After putting them in a dark room, you have to wait for the photograph to fully develop."
"I was in bed with a blind girl last night... and she says ""wow your really well hung"" to which I respond ""you're pulling my leg"""
"Have you ever smelt moth balls before? Isn't it hard to pull their little legs apart?"
"Sorry I missed your call, I was busy seeing how many times my phone would ring before you gave up."
"Let's Play Communist Monopoly! Oh wait..."
"My dad was a magician... He could be walking down the street and turn into a bar."