36163

Joke of the Day

"[nearing end of first date] Me: I'll give you a call later, OK? Her: *throws phone in river* I lost my phone."

"What do you call a pimp without a cane? A caneless pimp."

"Do you know what they feed you at Guantanamo Bay? Well after being there for 30 years, neither do I!"

"I can't remember a time in my life when an update for Acrobat Reader wasn't available."

"New Horizons probe discovers trees on Pluto! Reporters asked ""how can you tell?"" And NASA said ""from the bark, you dummies!"""

"A man walks up to a juice bar... There's no punch line."

"Why is Kim Jong Un a terrible leader? [removed]"

"A mathematician, a college professor, and a textbook author walk into a bar. *[The punchline is left as an exercise for the reader.]*"

"In a knife fight with street entertainers I always go straight for the juggler."

"Told a homeless guy sorry I was saving to buy a house. He got mad and threw his cup of change at me, so now I'm... $3.75 closer to my dream!"