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Joke of the Day

"Girl, you're like my iPhone... I just wanna tap you the night away, without any regards of time."

"Lesbian Couple A girl asked me what my view on lesbian couples was. Apparently ""in HD"" wasn't the right answer."

"Sorry I stuck a cheese puff in your baby's mouth when you couldn't find a pacifier."

"""Doesn't it feel good to Payless?"" no, i want to be rich & shop at good stores"

"How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult? It's like, oh you gave birth to me? Please enjoy this fancy candle."

"Jobs: You Need To Have Your BA *got BA Jobs: you need 5yrs experience *5years later Jobs: You need a MA *Got MA Jobs: we need some1 young"

"Using only a paperclip, taffy, and rubber band, MacGuyver left another shitty tip."

"I bet if Amy Winehouse had changed her name to Amy Lemonadehouse, she'd still be alive today."

"What do you call an annoying black person? A nagger."

"Why do Redditors post pics of East Indian food? For that sweet, sweet Korma..."