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Joke of the Day

"[Asking someone out] Um...so do you want to come to my exorcism next week?"

"""I heard you have unlimited breadsticks?"" Sure do, table for 1? ""Quack!"" Wait a second *trench coat falls, family of ducks run away*"

"Why did the whale have to go see his doctor? His diet was krill-in him."

"Why do midgets giggle when running through a field? The grass tickles their balls as they run."

"What are the Muppet's views on the paranormal? ""It's a phenomena (do doo do doodoo)"""

"You lost me at ""my psychic said.."""

"Wearing crocs is like getting a blowjob from a guy... Feels good until you look down and realize you're gay."

"Obstetrician who has taken up magic as a hobby: and what have we here? *pulls out baby after baby after baby after baby after baby..."

"A solipsist posts on a forum In his thread, he asks, ""Anyone else out there a solipsist?"" After a day of no replies He thinks to himself, ""I guess it's just me!"""

"I went to the doctor with severe constipation, he laughed as he took my urine sample. I think he's taking the piss but I still couldn't give a shit."