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Joke of the Day

"GOD: hey my son is broken, he won't absolve the sins of mankind IT GUY: try turning him off, waiting 3 days, then turning him back on again"

"What happens in BSDM when you fuck the wrong person? Oops, wrong sub."

"Did you hear about the new $5 million dollar Kentucky State Lottery? The winner gets $5 for a million years."

"TIL The New Jersey Devils have never changed their logo or uniform design/colours. No new New Jersey jersey."

"What do you get if you cross a dog with a blind mole ? A dog that keeps barking up the wrong tree !"

"Relationship status~ Siri saw my browser history & now she isn't talking to me either"

"What's the opposite of progress? The president."

"Why do rabbits go to the beauty parlor? For hare care."

"What do you call a smart pig? Cunningham"

"I always carry a mushroom with me, just in case my enemy shows up & I need something to make me bigger."