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Joke of the Day

"In honor of America's upcoming Independence Day, do you know why America spells ""behavior"", ""color"", and ""humor"" the way they do? Because **fuck u**, that's why!"

"I recently started playing the triangle for a reggae band... ...I just stand at the back and ting..."

"Wife: The police are here asking about a break in at the pet store Me from within a pile of puppies: Tell them I'm not here."

"Inspired by T.G.I. Fridays, I opened a restaurant called C.L.I. Tuesdays. No one could find it."

"HER: my dad hates puns but loves food ME: got it HER: dad, this my date ME: hey papaya yam glad to meat u HIM: *shakes then crushes my hand*"

"Every 9 minutes, someone is infected with the herpes virus. I bet that someone lives in Jersey."

"How long does it take a tweaker to go shopping? An hour 5 minutes for the Ramen noodles and foil. 55 minutes to fix the squeaky shopping cart wheel."

"What's green and furry and smells like pig? Kermit the Frog's finger"

"What sound does an Italian make when you shoot him? Wop"

"Where did Neanderthals get their chicken wings? Cave-FC"