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Joke of the Day

"*works out for 75 mins *eats an entire batch of cookie dough"

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"An Iraqi official calls all of his 8 Saddam's doubles... He says, i have good news, and bad news. The good is that Saddam is alive, the bad is that he lost an arm."
"Relationship status: the doorbell rings, my heart is pounding, it's the pizza delivery guy. Three-cheese, double toppings, thick crust."
"YOU SHOULD BE CALLED JEHOVAH'S FITNESS! I yell as I lose my breath chasing them down the street."
"I just got my roof painted. The painters worked all day long, when I asked them how much I had to pay, they just replied, ""Don't worry about the paint, it's on the house. """
"How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb? Swan"
"[magic school bus] KID: where are we going today MS. FRIZZLE: the zoo KID: but last week we went to SPACE MS. FRIZZLE: im hungover, children"
"What do you call a seizure you have while mining? An ore spasm."
"If Pobelter played tibia... ...his char would be called Probolter."
"Some people are like Slinkies... They're not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."