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Joke of the Day

"Relationship status: the doorbell rings, my heart is pounding, it's the pizza delivery guy. Three-cheese, double toppings, thick crust."

"Now that Fall is here, do you think all the teenage girls with duck-faces will fly South for the winter?"

"What noise does a Nintendo ambulance make? Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u"

"What kind of a shoe has a problem? An issue."

"Out of 10 puns chosen at random, how many actually made people laugh? No pun in ten did."

"its shanksgiving, be thankful i havent stabbed u yet."

"What's the difference between a Pakistani elementary school and an Al Qaeda training camp? Don't ask me, I just fly the drone."

"Two nuns walk into a bar. The third nun ducks."

"Q: What does an attorney wear to work? A: A law suit."

"A second date is probably not likely if your date pulls out and clutches a crucifix when you enter the room."