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Joke of the Day

"Man, I really wish I'd noticed that rubber ducky in the toilet BEFORE I pooped."

"What do you call an article written about a dead astronaut? An *orbit*-tuary!"

"What do you call a prostitute with white eyes? Full up."

"Trumps wives were immigrants Proving again that they'll do jobs Americans won't"

"If your laugh in real life sounds like ""Bahahaha"", guaranteed I won't be funny around you."

"My daughter is playing ""you can't find me, Mommy""... I'm playing ""I'm not trying, Suckaaaa""."

"The clearer your conscience, the more likely you are to answer a call from an unknown number."

"Some cool ways to trick a woman into bed include ""being kind,"" ""making her feel special"" & ""showing her respect."" They love that shit!"

"This is by far the most pointless Tweet ever."

"When I was an infant I had a nanny that abused me And im still pretty shaken up about it"