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Joke of the Day

"Not To Brag Or Anything... I live near where Notorious B.I.G. was born and raised. Just a short walk over and I'm in front of his house. Took a picture. No biggie."

"Careful, friends. [bends down and examines a handprint in the sidewalk] There is a very powerful child nearby."

"What do you call a black man when he is sitting in the cockpit controlling an airplane? A pilot you racist!"

"I recently thought about stealing from the food shelf... But the steaks were too high."

"Hey girl, what is your sine? It must be pi/2 because you are the one."

"Boss: Are you drinking liquor at work? *flashes back to pouring apple juice into a whiskey bottle bc I couldn't find a thermos* ""Yes"""

"A Psychic Buying Clothes Employee: How about this one? Psychic: That shirt is too small. Employee: You didn't even try it on. Psychic: I'm a medium."

"I never knew how long it took a human to fall asleep until I had kids. In case you're wondering it's 2 hours, 3 cups of water, & 18 books."

"No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who just gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch"

"So I ordered the Best of Pitbull CD off Amazon. All I got was a blank CD."