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Joke of the Day

"Boss: Are you drinking liquor at work? *flashes back to pouring apple juice into a whiskey bottle bc I couldn't find a thermos* ""Yes"""

"Walks into a Bar A man walked into a Florida bar with his crocodile and asked the bartender: ""Do you serve lawyers here?"" ""Sure."" ""Good. One beer for me and a lawyer for my crocodile."""

"When I was a kid we were so poor... If I didn't wake up at christmas with a hard-on I'd have nothing to play with."

"My wife is like a Mermaid Below her pelvis, she smells like fish."

"America healthcare system"

"What is the favorite saying of a police officer in the Simpsons? If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown shoot it down."

"Q. How did a blind girl burn her fingers? A. Reading the waffle iron"

"I judge a book by it's cover when the cover is a picture worth 1000 words."

"A Jew is happy. A Jewish person finds out that his car is full of gas. When he found out he was happy and he said ""this is ISIS on the cake""."

"A List of Shitty Jokes 1. This joke. 2."