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Joke of the Day

"The movie was better than the book because I'm illiterate."

"Why aren't the people in old timey photos ever smiling? Because they were in constant danger of getting eaten by dinosaurs. READ A BOOK."

"Reddit accounts should be treated like underwear. If you can keep them clean you could keep the same one for a while, but if you flood them with shit you should get a new one."

"Q:Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A:('He wanted cold hard cash!')"

"How did the duck become a junkie? He was addicted to quack."

"How do you kill 200 flies at once? Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan."

"Anyone want to come over for a topless pizza party? I'll supply the dough, you bring the toppings."

"Did I tell you I'm dating a midget? I'm nuts over her."

"If you're a girl on twitter and you have no pictures of yourself, I'm automatically assuming you're a cat that learned to use a computer."

"What do you call a math teacher in an anime? Sin Pi"