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Joke of the Day

"The movie was better than the book because I'm illiterate."

"Hey Mark, do you want a threesome? So go home fast. Perhaps you arrive on time."

"I was drinking gin for the first time when I realized... I'm not supposed to lose my ginity until I'm married"

"Hot damn, you see this shit honey? The knife on TV just sliced a tomato after cutting drywall. I guess my plan isnt as stupid as you thought"

"i wanted som fried chicken but i didnt have any chicken so i fried an egg adn waited a few years"

"My friend just launched the second hubble into space... A hubble bubble."

"Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell bad."

"What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)"

"Why can't I get mobile reception in my house, yet a terrorist can upload his videos from a cave in Afghanistan?"

"What's big heavy furry dangerous and has sixteen wheels? A monster on roller-skates."