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Joke of the Day

"Why does wonder woman fly? Because she can't drive for sh*t."

"Being a ""Hopeless Romantic"" sounds kinda depressing. ""Pull my chair out for me?"" .. ""I'd love to, but I've given up."""

"I didn't know angels could fly so low."

"Babe.. [gets down on one knee] I'm [gets down on the other knee] so [lays down on belly] tired [zzzzzzzzzz]"

"Put that down you fat piece of sh*t' the title of the dieting book I'm writing."

"What did the Muslim bring to the Holiday party? Falafel and hummus."

"What did the Italian say to his grandmother with alzheimer's? fugetaboutit!"

"I like my Women how I like my Coffee. Ground up and in a bag :^)"

"Dude, the fact that I called YOU to bail me out of jail is quite the compliment, so let's dial back that ""It's 4 am!"" attitude, mmkay?"

"I've been contemplating legally changing my name to 'An End', so that all good things must come to me."