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Joke of the Day

"TIFU by assigning a temporary history teacher to a math class Oops, wrong sub"

"Why couldn't the philosopher make a living? He made no sense. I tried, I really did."

"Why did France really surrender to Germany? *Hitler was being Vichy.* [Just thought of this earlier in the shower... Had gas ever since.]"

"My wife punched me during sex last night. Probably a good idea that my mistress and I do it at her place next time."

"Why did Steve Jobs lose on the X Factor? because Sam sung better than him"

"What is the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? The taste."

"Why do women need to wear jockstraps while skydiving? To prevent them from whistling."

"If Lance Armstrong and Oscar Pistorius have taught us anything, it's don't trust athletes with missing body parts"

"I have a photographic memory But I ran out of film a long time ago"

"I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers."