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Joke of the Day

"I refer to ""porno"" movies as ""regular"" movies not ""adult"" movies. And I refer to non-porno movies as ""Christian kids"" films."

"Bruce Springsteen isn't very good at math I don't think anyone's heard him count past the number 4 in years."

"What do you call a nice Jewish Lyft driver? an Uber Mensch."

"Dear iPhone, I have typed ""haha"" like a million times, but yet you continually give me ""haga"", ""hsha"", ""gaga"", ""hahss"", ""hahs"" I hate you"

"What does my penis have in common with JP Morgan Chase and Bank of America? They are all too Big To Fail."

"Why does the Catholic Church have so much money? Because Jesus saves."

"What runs all day but never gets tired? Water."

"Can I borrow your G-String? Mine broke... said one guitarist to the other"

"On a scale of one to ten... ...you aren't getting a helpful measurement of your weight"

"""Y dnt u Muslims tell ISIS to stop"" Ok hold up *pulls out iphone* ""Yo ISIS habibi,its me plz stop"" ISIS:""ok habibi sorry,shisha tonight?"""