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Joke of the Day

"*Tries to go into debt* DEBT: I have a boyfriend"

"A girl called me the other day and said ""Come on over, there's nobody home!"" I went over. Nobody was home."

"When bae starts to age... She turns beige."

"What's black underneath and white on top? Society."

"it's my birthday today. IK Fuck you too."

"What is the difference between Coors beer and a ... clitoris? A clitoris only tastes like piss for a second."

"I've been getting way too deep into the Prague Surrealist movement lately. I think I need a Reality Czech."

"We use a very accurate term to describe our government. Politics, poly meaning many, and ticks meaning bloodsucking creatures."

"An unfortunate blind date. that's the last blind date I go on. She turned up. hit me with her cane then her dog bit me. It was like she couldn't even see."

"My wife freaks out if any of my sperm gets on her face or hair or sister."