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Joke of the Day

"We use a very accurate term to describe our government. Politics, poly meaning many, and ticks meaning bloodsucking creatures."

"Jimmy has 36 candy bars, and he eats 28. What does Jimmy have? Diabetes. Jimmy has diabetes."

"My wife has a book on homeopathy I've only read the blurb on the back, but I think I know everything I need to know about it."

"[NSFW] I was walking home when I heard a homeless guy yell .. I was walking home when I heard a drunk homeless guy yell -"" You motherfucker , your daughter is your sister"""

"Why is Jennifer Lawrence the only one freaking out about the nude photo leak? Because she's the only one with a fat load on her face."

"Everyone's like ""the things I want for Christmas can't be bought."" And I'm like ""Legos. I want legos."""

"A recent study shows that 51.9% of the UK are under educated. It was called the EU referendum."

"Daaaaamn girl! You're like a fire alarm! Really loud and annoying!"

"Somewhere in Russia, a little kid farted a half beat before the meteor blew out all the windows. It was the greatest moment of his life."

"Whats an electrical engineers fave sex position? The super position"