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Joke of the Day
"Television is a medium because anything well done is rare."
Next Joke
"What's green and smells like bacon? Kermit The Frog's fingers."
"*caterpillar looks up at sky* ""My dream is to fly a plane one day."" Other Caterpillar: You don't pay any attention in science class, do you?"
"One-liners for when you're leaving - example: ""I'm going to make like a baby, and head out."" I also use ""Let's make like a chapped-ass, and split."" What are some other good ones?"
"What did the nutrionist say to the zombies as they were breaking down the doors of a hospital in West Hollywood? ""Don't forget to eat your gays and invalids."""
"It's unfair to call me lactose intolerant when you consider what I'm willing to go through for lactose."
"Rape Hotline I called the rape advice hotline. I didn't realize it was for victims."
"What do you call a fat North Korean? Supreme Leader."
"A man in a restaurant asks the waiter, ""How does the chef prepare the chicken?"" The waiter replies, ""He looks it straight in the eye and says, 'You're gonna die.'"""
"Where do Squarells live? In Geometrees. I am not embarrassed to say I made this up two weeks ago while teaching quadrilaterals. The groan from my students could be heard for miles."