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Joke of the Day

"How many Im not saying she's a slut But jokes are there? Im not saying she a slut but: She's been boarded more times than Amtrak"

"Canadian Defenition Canadian (noun): An unarmed american with health insurance"

"Two flies are on a toilet seat. One gets pissed off."

"What did Jonathan Ross say after breaking in to a large kitchen to steal some utensils? It was worth the whisk"

"In some cultures, it's considered polite to scream when someone shows you their baby. I'd be considered proper there. Probably."

"Q: How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two but the job never gets done --- they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!"

"*date leans in* Tell me something I don't know about you. *I lean in* I have a french fry in my pocket."

"Won a time machine on Ebay. Disappointed when I received a clock."

"Why are oceans called ""The High Seas""? Because of all the seaweed!"

"What is the speed limit of Sex? 68, because at 69, you eat it."