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Joke of the Day

"Hey ladies, you realize that you're not required to look at every mirror you come across, right?"

"If you're waiting on me to 'get ready' I'm probably just spending 20 minutes trying to get my hoodie strings the same length."

"Money may not buy you happiness, but it does buy you all the sh1t you want!"

"WHAT are birds so happy about at 7am? What? Oh, right. Pooping while airborne. Good one."

"What did ataturk's Father Say to him when he did well? Adda-Turk"

"Off is the general direction in which I wish you would fuck."

"One does not simply talk to their pet in a normal voice....no they don't, oh no they don't."

"What did the owl say to the squirrel? Nothing. Because owls don't talk. Then it ate the squirrel, because owls are birds of prey."

"My relationship status: Waiting for a miracle."

"Heyy Ladies how are you dressing up for Halloween? Are you taking off your make-up ?"