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Joke of the Day

"What did the owl say to the squirrel? Nothing. Because owls don't talk. Then it ate the squirrel, because owls are birds of prey."

"What did the windmill say to the windmill engineer? I'm a big fan of your work"

"What type of train gets fat? A chew chew train..."

"What do you call a censored DMX song? A really good instrumental"

"I found out that middle age is were you finally get your head together and then your body starts falling apart"

"Uppercuts a horse. Creates the first girrafe."

"Someone stole my coffee. He was charged with mugging."

"I just tried drinking orange juice with pulp in it and I finally understand why women don't like to"

"Lawyer: so tell me, why was my client's mouth bleeding? Dentist: he doesn't floss Me: You hit me! D: [puts lips on mic] bc you don't floss"

"Call 613-745-1576 for good time"