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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my basement."

"Remember that time when we got trapped on a ski-lift for 4 days, then the acid wore off and we were just sitting on my grandmas porch-swing."

"Chris Rea came to my garden centre today... ...he bought a driving gnome for Christmas."

"Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy."

"Three guys walk into a bar... John Wick kills them with a pencil. A fucking pencil."

"Are you single too? Don't worry, you're not alone. Actually, I guess you are."

"It was such a hard core lesbian bar... even the pool table didn't have balls."

"If Mt Vesuvius erupted over us right now, there'd be lots of shapes of people looking at their phones later on."

"What did the laziest man in the world win? Atrophy."

"Dance like no one is watching you while secretly videotaping to later be posted on YouTube so you become the latest worldwide laughing stock"