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Joke of the Day
"When I looked at the eclipse yesterday all I could see were my parents fighting :("
Next Joke
"What did the ghost say to the bee? Boobee!"
"What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? Pilot"
"RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Praying for telemarketers to call so I can experience human contact as I slowly dissolve into dust"
"Why didn't Michael J Fox order food at McDonalds? He got the shakes instead."
"So two typefaces are in a strip club... one says to the other, 'damn, thats some fine print.'"
"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but only if the lightbulb really *wants* to change."
"[blind date] (don't let her know ur a dog walker) ""So what do u do?"" Well, I'm like a- [13 dogs jump up on the table and eat her dinner]"
"What do you call someone who takes everything literally? A kleptomaniac!"
"Isn't it ironic that to be popular on social networks, you have to sacrifice your social life."