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Joke of the Day

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but only if the lightbulb really *wants* to change."

"My mother told me if I dislike someine, I'd have to walk a mile in their shoes. That way, if they tried to get me, I'd be a mile away and they'd have no shoes."

"I have a real super power of stopping bullets with my face... once."

"Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? Class: Maria did."

"What did the boy pee say to the girl pee? Urine angel."

"Holy shit, remember rhymes with September. If no one thought about putting that in a song, I'm gonna be rich."

"Here's my Bruce Jenner joke I made a joke"

"What do you call blueberries, raspberries and strawberries inside of a hidden chest? Berried Treasure."

"The thing I love about baseball is that it has all the excitement of football, packed into 162 4 hour games."

"Do you have any motivational books? Yeah, they're in the back. (long pause) Do you have any that are closer?"