87250

Joke of the Day

"I have a lot of growing up to do... I realized this the other day... inside my fort."

"""You are cute like a dog, Momma!"" My daughter is very sweet but we must work on her ability to compliment."

"What does a bro say when asked if he needs help doing a magic trick? Nah brah, tadah brah!"

"How does a German call an Irishman? Komm, Sean!"

"I've always heard that karma's a bitch... ...not like I'd know. Thanks, Reddit."

"What idiot coined the term ex-fiance Instead of near-Mrs Edit: ex fiancee. I'm not as smart as I thought I was.."

"You're not really a parent until you swat blindly into the backseat, hoping to connect with a kid."

"""So send me a picture of you..."" *sends* ""Look I need to leave very abruptly and extremely forever."""

"What did Wilford Brimley say to his wife when he found out she was pregnant? You have diafetus"

"Psychic: reads my mind My mind: waelcome to my kitchennnnnn.... We have bananis...... And avocadi"