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Joke of the Day

"What did terrorists used to call Fidel Castro? Infidel Castro"

"I left my girlfriend because she wouldn't stop counting... I wonder what she's up to now."

"A skeleton walks into a bar... and asks for a beer and a mop."

"Why do we need art? Because the Earth without art is just ""Eh""."

"If I were a waitress, I'd be planting fake engagement rings in every girl's food, just to see their boyfriends panic."

"Me: I heard you like men with a huge collection of words that they know and can say. Her: A vocabulary? Me: A what?"

"I saw my sister watching the show ""Dexter"" yesterday.. I thought it was a pretty weird show, but then again, I have seen stranger things on Netflix."

"If I had a dollar for every gender... I'd have $2 and some monopoly money..."

"spent today capturing hipsters, tagging them, and releasing them back into Silverlake. Study: Do skinny jeans restrict grazing patterns?"

"I received a rolex for Christmas from the lesbian couple who live next door. Now, while I am happy with the gift, I guess they didn`t quite understand what I meant when I told them, ""I wanna watch""."