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Joke of the Day

"I bet Hemingway would've deleted a shitload of tweets the next day."

"Dating Tips. C all her 69 times a day. R ing her doorbell and hide. E avesdrop by phone tapping. E ye her bffs. P oke her on FB."

"What is Kanye's favorite Transformer? Bruce Jenner"

"I want to tell you all a UDP joke ... but you might not get it."

"You're so fake... Even China denied they made you"

"Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now."

"What do you call a cat with 3 legs? A handicat"

"Watching people try to find a lost car in a parking lot is oddly soothing"

"The Rainforest Cafe isn't realistic enough for me. Part of the restaurant should burn down by the time you finish your meal."

"WIFE: omg Will Smith's son, Jaden, is dead ME: where'd you see that? W: Facebook M: I'm pretty sure that's a hoax W: no Facebook is real"