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Joke of the Day

"Where did this concept of kidnappers using white vans come from? I mean, I just use my Prius, stop being so stereotypical, jeez."

"I saw a Chinese baby and a black kid wave at each other this morning. Gives me hope for the future. Or at least another Rush Hour movie"

"What's the difference between golf and sky diving? Twack......... Shit!"

"Why was Ohm the Empire's best scout? He discovered the resistance"

"I bought shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with, but I 've been tripping all day!"

"""Oh, this one? It's an excuse to tell a story about my life that only I think is interesting"" - literally all tattoos"

"honestly it just makes me fat free italian when u tell me salad dressings aren't a good way to describe emotions"

"What do you call over the counter Viagra? Mycoxafloppin"

"I used to cry when my dad chopped onions. I miss Onions, he was a good dog."

"What do you call a couple of asses standing next to eachother in an asparagus field? An ass-pair, I guess?"