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Joke of the Day

"I can always tell how good my weekend was by how many pictures I have to untag on Monday."

"Did you know that no matter how much you move a piece of paper, It remains stationary..."

"No thanks, Winter Olympics. If I wanted to see a bunch of white people playing in the snow, I'd hop on over to Facebook."

"I'm not very good with DIY. A pile of books fell on my head... I only have my shelf to blame :-("

"I found out I've been spelling pedo wrong for years. It's actually paedo. Always handy to spellcheck a CV."

"Today is definitely a good day to be kissed but I'm going to sit inside and look at my phone because sometimes that feels like kissing too"

"I just won an award for my hairdressing skills. Best Newcomber"

"I learned all I need to know about how to treat my coworkers by watching every Saw movie at least ten times."

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my father... Not screaming like his passengers."

"I know they don't recommend ibuprofen during pregnancy but I needed something for the hangovers."