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Joke of the Day

"I follow back all spambots. I even star some of their tweets, because I'm looking for a spot in middle management when the robots take over."

"America will suffer if Trump becomes president... You could say we're going toupee for it"

"How much electricity is in the ground? 1 Terrahertz"

"10 bucks says Kanye signed the guest book at his own wedding."

"What do you call a promiscuous girl in special ed? A tater thot"

"How do you find a black person? Guilty."

"I came very close to death last night. I had a wank in a graveyard."

"What's the difference between an epileptic corn farmer and a hooker with diarrhea? One has to shuck in between fits... the other has to fuck in between shits."

"You're so void, I bet you think this nothing is about you"

"Got the invite to your wedding. Thanks! Sadly, your blatant overuse of illegible, ornate script fonts means I don't know when or where it is"