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Joke of the Day

"A man steps into an elevator with a woman inside... He asks her, ""Can I smell your feet?"" She responds, ""NO!"" He says, ""Oh shit, then it must be your pussy!"""

"NAZI: I'm a Nazi MEDIA: How controversial NAZI: I said I was a Nazi MEDIA: Your clothes are beautifully tailored"

"When someone asks for one of my french fries, I react like the majestic cheetah by snarling and taking my food to the top of a tree."

"[blood bank] Doc inserts needle [turns around] YOU AGAIN! [vampire sucking on tube like straw] GO ON SCOOT [chases him from room with broom]"

"One time an electrician came home drunk at four o'clock in the morning. ""Wire you insulate?"" his wife scolded. ""Watts it to you?"" he snapped. ""I'm ohm, ain't I?"""

"I was born to be happy... not normal."

"I like to stand in the corner at parties and blow on anyone who walks by. People hate it, but I'm a fan."

"1 We must strive to disconnect gender norms from career choices. It is my hope that the next generation is better, that Secretary Kerry's grandchildren never feel the embarrassment his children feel."

"Chuck Norris uses pens on Scantron sheets."

"I tried phone sex once, but the holes were too small."