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Joke of the Day

"When someone asks for one of my french fries, I react like the majestic cheetah by snarling and taking my food to the top of a tree."

"A Bagpiper, a Kangeroo, an Irish poet, and Mother Theresa walk into a bar . . . . . . . the barman, who was drying a glass, lifted his head and asked, ""Is this some kind of joke?"""

"4 introverts walk into a bar... What? Were you expecting something else?"

"I'll never forget the last thing my grandpa told me before he kicked the bucket. He said ""Watch how far I can kick this bucket!"""

"Statistically... 9/10 people enjoy gang rape"

"[Interview] Why do you want this job? Me: *opens briefcase* I don't. *pulls out Snickers* I just wanted to eat this without my kids around"

"['90s] I just got a new computer. It's called ""The Tyson."" It comes with two bytes and no memory."

"""What?""- pothead owl"

"Walked in lecture hall mid-lecture and the professor yells ""CAN I HELP YOU?!"" ""No thanks, I'm just browsing."""

"I swear to holy hell, Aunt Pat, I would rather lick a midget's taint than accept your invitation to play Lucky Slots."