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Joke of the Day

"I know that I have an attitude problem But I just don't care"

"My friend went into a sudden trance where she imagined she was stuck in a Pistachio. I told her to snap out of it. -She couldn't.-"

"Did you hear about the woman who only had two chances to get pregnant? She blew them both."

"What's in a tweet? That which you call your bowel movement, by any other tweet is still an odious hot mess."

"Where does Google and Apple get their weather information? The Cloud."

"Why did Jennifer cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing her seat belt"

"Men are four times more likely than women to commit suicide, even though women attempt it more. So men are better at it! \- George Carlin"

"Ever just read somebody's post and think.... what th H is this person talking about? they never seem to make any sense."

"My Russian mate does not care about anyone. His name is Yukanol Fukov."

"Please continue finishing your text in the crosswalk, Mr. Pedestrian. It's not like I'm driving a giant metal instrument of death."