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Joke of the Day
"Beer is like sex. When it's good it's good...when it's bad it's still pretty good."
Next Joke
"To back up his ""every action has an equal and opposite reaction"" theory, Newton should've released one simultaneously saying ""no it doesn't"""
"Why do pop artists hate shoe shopping? They have too many ft. *edit for spelling"
"My dick is like and old antenna television... ...it takes a pair of needle nosed pliers, and a few smacks from my father to get turned on."
"A Jewish man had a son, who converted to Christianity. The man prayed to God, ""Oh Lord, my son has converted to Christianity! What should I do?"" And God replied, ""Yours too?"""
"I am proud to announce that my girlfriend and I are pregnant! Now, I just need to find a way to tell my wife.."
"The Commandments 1) def don't kill 2) no stealing, obvs 3) don't say my name? idk 4) luv ur neighbs! 5) but don't LOVE-love them, that's bad"
"A single word can make a heart open. That word is ""scalpel."""
"How do you catch a steroidal fish? With A-Rod."
"The past, present and future walk into a room. It got all tense."