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Joke of the Day

"My dick is like and old antenna television... ...it takes a pair of needle nosed pliers, and a few smacks from my father to get turned on."

"My friend got fired from his job selling industrial vacuum cleaners. It's cool though he said it sucked."

"Why was the criminal's argumentative essay so good? He had some outstanding warrants."

"I've been really impressed by igloos. They're all white houses."

"Q: Why will a blonde laugh at a joke three times? A: Once when you tell it once when you tell her the punchline and once when she gets it."

"What's a 6.9? Another great thing screwed up by a period."

"Tim Vine came up to me. I said,""Hey, you're Time Vine!"" He said,""My name's not Tim Vine, it's Timbuktu."" He paused. ""Sorry, I was miles away."""

"Most guys will go gay for the night with the right amount of sangria & Foreigner playing in the background Don't ask me how I know"

"[Date] Karen: ""You okay?"" Ian: ""I'm undressing you in my mind"" K: ""Okay... you look confused!"" I: ""I've never seen a bra strap like this"""

"What is the world's leading cause of hearing loss? Religion."