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Joke of the Day

"My dick is like and old antenna television... ...it takes a pair of needle nosed pliers, and a few smacks from my father to get turned on."

"A woman is good for 70 things. Cooking and 69."

"I hate pitchers ...They always throw games"

"What did the Queen say when she lost her dog? ""Where the fuck is my corgi?!"""

"A german walks into a bar and orders one martini. The bartender asks: ""Dry?"" The German replies ""No, one you dumbass!"""

"I'm at the vets..... A man opposite me weeps with an empty cage in his arms. I'd be crying too if I were that forgetful."

"Why do Catholics drink? ...because they're filled with the Holy Spirit"

"Nixon had to be photographed at an angle to make him appear upright. One of the drawbacks of him having a list."

"So a seal walks into a bar.., Get it? No? Me neither."

"What do some people have against cheeseburgers? They say 'Burgers can't be cheesy!'"