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Joke of the Day

"How are asymptotes like women? You can get close to it, but you can't touch it"

"Did you hear about the guy who wears as many watches as he can, while trying to collect every type? He has way too much time on his hands."

"There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down, he sneered at me and I thought, well that's a little condescending."

"What did the tv get for Christmas? Replaced"

"""Alexander's not so Great"" - younger brother, Steve the Ok"

"I'm not desperate because i'm single, i'm single because i'm not desperate."

"If at first you don't succeed...."

"The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money."

"If Trump and Hillary were stranded on a boat, who would survive?? America."

"My friend asked me if the new Star Wars was in 3D... ... and I said, yes, but they R2D2."