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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who told everyone goodbye and then didn't leave? It was much adieu about nothing."

"As I'm walking in to work this morning my boss told me to ""Have a good day"" Who am i to argue? Thanked him and came straight back home"

"question about god? if god can do anything can he do nothing?"

"I tried committing suicide today Not going to do that again almost killed myself"

"Why doesn't Ann Coulter have children? You can't make babies by fucking an asshole."

"Asking your mom, ""Will there be any pretty girls coming?"" Is a good way of getting out of going to your family reunion.."

"I was listening to music and dropped my computer into the ocean... Guess now it's A Dell Rolling in the Deep"

"I need a new waffle iron. These waffles are still wrinkled."

"You know why they have a cock on the weather vane? If they had a cunt, the wind would blow right through it. -An old fuck."

"The White Stripes Knock, knock! Who's there? Meg White's most complex drumbeat. --- ^(Stolen from 4chan's /mu/ board: http://redd.it/2cl0cw)"