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Joke of the Day

"As I'm walking in to work this morning my boss told me to ""Have a good day"" Who am i to argue? Thanked him and came straight back home"

"What did the priest say when watering his garden? Let us spray."

"What's the difference between a homeless wanker and a pimp? One's a broke stroker and the other is a stroke broker."

"I just bought my first girlfriend online I got her off E-Bae"

"Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they'll paw at you a little bit then give up and go look for food.."

"All dick jokes are basically the same... They just vary in length"

"Is your name Malaysian Airlines? Cause baby, i'm lost in you."

"I'm giving up sex for Lent.. .. It shouldn't be too hard."

"What do you call a person with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Fucked."

"Sorry I dressed up like Captain Caveman when you asked me if I wanted to go clubbing."