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Joke of the Day
"""Why your stomach is so big""...""That's the baby ... I had for lunch"""
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"How do you know you are at a gay picnic? The hotdogs taste like shit"
"Why did God create man before woman? He didn't want any advice."
"If you have 3 tweets in a row that say what you're cooking, what song you're listening to, and what your mood is... just go back to Facebook."
"What is the difference between the deflate gate controversy and my wife? Only one shows an interest in the balls."
"What does the Pillsbury Doughboy see when he looks down? His Doughnuts."
"Why can't two Chinese people make a white baby? Because two Wongs don't make a white"
"I'm a completely chill dude. But you try to cook my baby son in the pizza oven you built in your backyard... we're gonna have problems."
"Did you know the inventor of the vibrator heard voices saying... ""If you build it, they will come."""
"What is it called when you are arrested for drunk driving and you extremely regret it? DU-WHY?!"