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Joke of the Day

"I'll bet you, like me, average the most ""uh""s per sentence when ordering at a fast food drive thru."

"What do homosexuals and appliances have in common? They both turn on when plugged. And a difference? An appliance doesn't work when the plug is wet."

"There's absolutely no way Lady Gaga was born with half an Office Depot hot-glued to her head."

"Overheard a dude say he wished there was a female version of Viagra. I guess his girlfriend has a really flaccid penis."

"Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool ? Because they couldn't hold their trunks up !"

"Why do Jews Brag About How Great Their Children Are? Because they don't win traditional dick measuring contests."

"How do you know your sister is on her period Your dads cock tastes funny."

"Doctors say that one piece of bacon takes 9 minutes off of your life. That has to be most delicious form of suicide I have ever heard."

"My wife just said ""I'm pregnant!"" I said ""Hi pregnant, I'm dad!"""

"The difference between ""Girlfriend"" and ""Girl Friend"" is that little space in between. We call the ""Friend Zone""."