86577

Joke of the Day

"MOM: always open the door for a lady [later on date] ME: Let me get that for you [reaching under stall door for lock] please stop screaming"

"A new study has shown that women who get more sleep have better sex. Unfortunately, the study was conducted by Bill Cosby."

"What did the lumberjack see? He saw a tree."

"Fridges should have glass doors.That way i dont have to stand with the fridge door open trying to figure out my next move."

"Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi and the driver kept the ""Vacant"" sign up?"

"What stops rape every time? Consent."

"How do you get three drunk, rowdy Canadians out of a pool? Ask them to get out of the pool."

"What is the definition of disgusting? Putting 7 oysters up your girlfriend and sucking out 8"

"What's the appropriate age to take the electric shock collar off your kid? My son's 10 years... hold on... OFF THE COUCH! brb... convulsing."

"How do you stop a ginger from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head."