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Joke of the Day

"What's the appropriate age to take the electric shock collar off your kid? My son's 10 years... hold on... OFF THE COUCH! brb... convulsing."

"Fat jokes aside, let's not forget fat people have feelings too Hunger"

"I met a girl with 12 nipples today. She was a bitch."

"nurse: ""if youre going to give grapes to a baby make sure you cut them in half"" me: [visibly confused] wife: ""the grapes keith not the baby"""

"ME: ""I'll have a rum & coke."" HIM: ""I can't serve you."" ME: ""Because I'm too drunk?"" HIM: ""No. 'cause this is a hardware store."""

"Yo mama's so fat... ...when she died, she had to be preserved in formalda-wide. She then had to be whipped creamated. If she wasn't, they would have had to given her an open-graveyard funeral."

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The Bartender says, ""Hey, Rene, you want a scotch?"" Descartes replies, ""No, I think not."" And then he vanishes. No dice."

"My new party trick.. I swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my ass tied together..... I shit you knot."""

"Jesus walks into a hotel He throws a bag of nails on the counter and says, ""Can you put me up for the night?"""

"What is Paul Georges favorite place to eat at? IHOP"