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Joke of the Day

"Two men walk into a bar... The third one ducks."

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"It makes more sense to dump Gatorade on the losing head coach."
"What do you call a snake with a degree in engineering? A Boa Constructor"
"Goth people wear black to reflect the color of their souls... Except ginger goths. They go naked."
"You find my yoga pants distracting... ...would you like me to take them off?"
"What did the Asian guy say when he was caught sleeping with another man's wife? Me love you wrong time."
"My grandfather always said, ""Don't watch your money; watch your health."" So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather. (Jackie Mason)"
"""Where do people already feel awkward & uncomfortable?"" ""Church?"" ""K let's make 'em like that"" -- funeral home designers"
"Well I failed my driver's test today. The instructor asked me what I do at Red lights, and I said, ""Text and Facebook"""
"Hate your job as a calendar maker?Need a way to get fired? Easy. ( _) ( _)>- (_) Just take a day off"