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Joke of the Day

"Why do blonde girls have bruises around their belly buttons? Because blonde guys aren't that smart either"

"A study found that being cool in HS does not lead to being successful. The study was conducted by Moms who mean well but aren't helping."

"I turn hot dog water into ice cubes for house guests I don't like"

"The so called genius at the Apple Store mentioned he has a girlfriend; thus, his geek credibility is compromised & I don't trust his advice."

"Server: Would you like another glass of wine? Me: I'm sorry, I don't have time Server: For the wine? Me: No, for silly questions"

"I have sexdaily I mean dyslexia, fcuk"

"Open Mike Night sounded like a lot of fun... ... Until I realized I'd been invited to an autopsy"

"I forgot to bring my bags to the grocery store, people looked at me like I drove there on an aerosol can, then slit a baby seal's throat."

"A kid asks his father what a prostitute is. And his father replies: That's a woman who sells her body to have sex. kid: Oh, I thought it was a bitch."

"I have decided to start a strict vegetarian diet Starting tonight I will enjoy a nice thick steak. Cows are the most delicious of the strict vegetarians"