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Joke of the Day

"I have decided to start a strict vegetarian diet Starting tonight I will enjoy a nice thick steak. Cows are the most delicious of the strict vegetarians"

"I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it."

"IamA former Backpage massage girl - AMA!"

"Harry Potter is actually an allegory about the emptiness of millennial hook up culture"

"What sexual position guarantees the ugliest baby? Go ask your mother"

"What would Bill Nye be called if he spoke to ghosts? Bill Nye the Seance guy."

"How do Alabama parents teach their kids to put on their underwear? Yellow in the front, brown in the back."

"How do snowmen travel around ? By iceicle !"

"My brother wanted me to watch his kid So I spent HOURS and HOURS childproofing my house. Wouldn't you know it? That fucker still got in."

"Q: How do elephants smell? A: Really bad."