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Joke of the Day

"For Sale : Used Facebook account ~ get up to the minute weather forecast, religious counseling and countless pictures of Jenny's cat."

"Why is Ronaldo so good at football? Oil of Ole Ole Ole"

"My wife slapped me when I told her I'm buying her a puppy for Christmas. I thought she'd be excited to hear that she's getting a little husky..."

"Bus passenger: I'd like a ticket to New York please. Ticket seller: By Buffalo? Bus passenger: Of course not I'm in the bus queue aren't I?"

"It's 'before' not 'B4'... We don't speak Bingo here..."

"What do you call a Canadian Muslim? A Mooselim!!"

"LPT: If you're trying to get over a crush just imagine them taking the wettest dump ever. Unless, of course, you're into that kind of shit."

"That awkward moment when you lean in to hug someone sexy and bump your head on the mirror."

"Why does Santa not have kids? Cause he only comes once a year."

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't fuck a sandwich before I eat it."