86253

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a tavern that only serves non-alcoholic drinks? A pro-teen bar"

"I met a girl who said she wanted to be a mortician... ""Yeah!"" she exclaimed, ""The job market for morticians is really great right now, despite what people say about it being a dying career."""

"[date] ME: ur jacket goes well with ur purse HER: *sits down* see it's not hard to be complimentary ME: u mean complementary HER: *gets up*"

"I had a happy childhood. My dad would put me inside a tire and then roll me down a hill. They were Goodyear s."

"Take your time for this joke Loading.."

"""Make him press 1 again."" ""Good."" ""Now, 3 minutes of silence."" ""He still there?"" ""Give him 18 minutes of pan flute."" - Call Center Training"

"What's the hard part about breaking up with a Japanese person? You have to drop the bomb twice so they get the message"

"Never refer to a woman as a bitch. Instead, refer to her as beautiful. Bitches love being called beautiful."

"Pulled this one on my son today. Son: Dad, today is palm Sunday. Me (Dad): Gimme some palm. *receives high five* Son: *not entertained*"

"I spend like $600 every month on free trials for stuff I forgot to cancel."